The Power of a Broken Heart
“Gd is near to the brokenhearted…”[1]
I long to feel the intimacy of Gd. But why should His Presence flow from my brokenness? Wholeness is essential to healthy relationship. Why should my prayers find favor through my pain?
Perhaps because callousness lies at the root of sin. If I felt the presence of another as I feel my own, I could never wrong him. If my inner voice were as clear as my outer, I would never stray from it. If Gd were as real in my heart as I…
Cutting away the callous places me in the world as it is, without filter or rationalization. A raw and frightening reality. A vibrant and loving creation. Callous is my shield, and my barrier. Shelter from the wounds of relationship and obstacle to intimacy. How could I risk vulnerability? How could I live numb?
Prayer is a circumcision of the heart.[2] It is the reconnection of effect to cause.[3]A removal of the ego self that says – “my strength and the power of my hands…”[4] In its embrace, the need for other is not inadequacy but a signpost toward completion. “It is not good for a man to be alone.” Believing that I could stand alone is the true alienation.
The Shulchan Aruch says that the ideal shaliach tzibur is at least thirty years old. The Mishna Berurah explains that by this age his heart is crushed and broken.[5] There is a point in life I cannot pass without failure, hurting others, tasting mortality. The infinite horizon of youth is broken. I know my limitations, and this knowledge stands me before Gd.
Only the broken heart holds enough surface for relationship. Has the texture that gives depth and reality to our prayer. May we merit the strength to receive all the wounds of life as blessings. And may they breach the wall between us and Gd.
[1] Tehillim 34:19
[2] Yermiyahu 4:4
[3] See Netiv HaAvodah, ch. 3
[4] Devarim 8:17
[5] MB 581:12. See also Sha’ar HaTziyun 22
