Don’t Hold back
“All my bones say, Gd who is like unto you?”[1]
I pray on my feet. I like to bounce and sway with my words. The Zohar[2] says that this is because my soul is cut from the Eternal Flame. The same source of energy which lights the Torah ignites my body’s response to prayer.
But do I really let loose in shul? Am I even allowed? Do I really want to?[3]
The Sages say that calling ‘amen. y’he shmei rabbah’ with all your כח tears up all judgment against you and opens all the gates. Rashi says this כח is strength of the heart, cultivated intentionality, purity of inner voice. The Tosephot argue. [4] Real כח moves your body. It raises your voice and makes you shake.
Should I keep a lid on it? If I let loose with a mighty declaration of Gd’s Great Name[5], what will happen? I promise you, I won’t be the same after. Will I be red faced or shining? The Rishonim tell me don’t hold back. Either way, they don’t argue. How could clarity of heart not find expression in elevation of voice?
The Mishna Brurah says – not too loud.[6] In his saintliness he worries that others may come to sin. They won’t see your heart, or the shine on your face. Your sudden outburst will jar them from thoughts of later. They might חלילה even laugh. And then you’ve brought desecration down to His name.
Better to stay in sync. Our souls are all davening to the same beat anyway. Let me bounce and sway, and magnify Gd in my heart. But the voice will find its moment. May we all merit to be there, in this lifetime.
Shabbat Shalom
Mike
[The Rama says that those who are careful will always move as they learn Torah or pray[7]]
“R Abba asked R Shimon why is it that all the nations don’t move, but when Am Yisrael are involved with Torah …they can’t stand still? He replied … because the neshamot of Israel are cut from the the Holy burning lamp, the lamp which which from the moment it was lit from the supernal Torah it is not quiet even for a moment…like the light of the flame which holds to the wick but flickers back and forth….and it is written the lamp of Gd is the soul of man….” Zohar haKodesh Pinchas 218
[1] Tehillim 35:10
[2] Pinchas 218, see SA Orach Chaim 48:1 in Rama
[3] Ever been shushed in shul? Not for talking חלילה but for chanting above the mumble. Send us your personal stories.
[4] Shabbat 119b, Rashi and Tosephot there. see also Berachot 57a
[5] (n)Name? The machloket rishonim on the spelling/meaning of שמ(י)ה to a degree defines this declaration. And whether this name should be capitalized.
[6] MB 56:6
[7] Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chaim 48:1
